Part 33 - Our Little Secret by Harshita Malik

"Our Little Secret" 

By - Harshita Malik

Part - 33

Part-33..
OUR LITTLE SECRET..
I am sitting here with Randhir,watching him doing paint.I was going to help him but he told me to try and stay off my legs as much as possible.
I just want to tell him about my leaving.
"Randhir"I start,but I immediately regret it.I am not ready to tell him.
He turns around me and stares at me waiting for me to say ahead.
"What is it,sanyu?"he asks.
"I am leaving"I say before I have time to think it through. He looks at me confused.
"OK,be careful on ur way to home"he says offering me his hands to help me get up.
"No,u don't understand what I am saying"I say.
I take in a deep breath while looking down,and then I look back up to meet his gaze.One of the things I have always loved about him,is that his eyes are always so full of passion and love.It makes my heart melt just standing here and looking at him .But then it also breaks my heart,bcoz I know what I have to do.
"I have to leave ,out of state"I say.He doesn't move.
"What?why?"he asks.
"Its dad..I say looking down,but he lift my chin up so that our eyes can meet again.
"For how long?"He asks.
"It could be as little as few weeks....."I says and he smiles a little.
"Or as long as few years"I finish.His smile fades away ,and pain replaces it.
"Years?"he asks.I nod.
He takes a step back,and stares at me for a minute.He steps over to the door and sits down there with his face in his hands.I walk over and sits down next to him.I take one of his hands ,and entwine it with mine.
"Randhir, we will be ok"
"I can't be here without u,especially not for a few years"He says cutting me off.He lifts his face up so he can look at me,and I notice he has a tear stain on one of his cheeks.
"How,far?"he asks.
"Bangalore"I say,he lets go of my hand and stand up.
"No"He says putting his hands behind his head in frustration.
"Its not my choice Randhir,Dad has gotten really bad lately ,and they have to send him to this special hospital.Apparently his cancer has gotten out of hand..."I explain.He turns around to me.
"Why do u have to go?can't u just stay?"he asks being not fair.
"No"I say.
"No?"He ask surprised."do u not want to stay here?"he asks,I sigh in frustration.
"Randhir,he is my father, my family, I have to go"
"What about us?"He asks.
"What about it?"I ask.He puts his hands above his heads again.
"It won't last if u leave"
"We can call and keep in touch"I say.
"But we won't see each other ,it won't last"
"We could still see each other"
"Once a year isn't going to cut it Sanyukta"He says angry now.
"Randhir this is ridiculous,I am not going to argue over this with u"I say.
"What do u except to happen while u are gone?we won't see each other and we will argue constantly.What will happen then?"He asks me.
This made me mad too.
"Why are u jumping to conclusion?"who said anything bad like that was going to happen?"I ask.
"You know it will"
"So u don't even have faith in our relationship anymore?"I ask.
"Don't put words in my mouth"He says.we are yelling on each other now.
"You know I thought u would be kind and gentle about this ,you will help me get through all this with dad but yet u are being selfish"I spat at him.
"You are the one who is not even thinking about our relationship'he spits back.
"Bcoz family comes first"I say.
"I think of u as my family,I don't have anyone else."
"I know Randhir ,I know u had a bad past but that isn't what this is about right now"I say and stare at him for a minute and then look down.I could tell I cut him in deep,and I feel a pain of guilt shoot through me.
"I have to worry about what's going on with my family right now,and what they need.Right now,Dad needs me.so that's what i am going to do"I say.
"Why are u still here then?"He asks looking up at me.That cut me deep.I stand there trying to think of something to say ,so I say the only thing that i know is left to say.
"To make sure u know that we are finished."I say ,I could tell that he was shocked by what i said,but he didn't show it.
"You know the way out"he says,I walk past him ,not even taking another glance,or saying a good bye.Just walking past him.


......To be Continue in the next Part !!

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